The Weekday Ramble is a daily dose of sports, music, culture, and more from Rambling On founder Erik Ritland. For more information check us out on Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, or at our website.


Wednesday June 17, 2015
If you’ve glanced at this, do yourself a favor and at least watch the first video below. It’s genius.

I’ve been revisiting old Whitest Kids U Know and College Humor videos for the first time in years. Two stuck out to me: an irreverent but very silly video about an alternate universe run by cats and a spot-on criticism of people who think they’re too cool for sports. Check ‘em out below. With commentary. Holla.

Cute kittens soften hard truths

“Kitty History” begins by playfully imagining an alternate universe where humanity is replaced by kittens. They run around at night for no reason, their Civil War is interrupted when they get distracted by some string, and they’re adorable.

But things get dark really fast. Kitty LBJ kills Kennedy and doubles down on Vietnam, kitty George H.W. Bush is in with the Saudis, and kitty 9/11 is painted as a false flag operation to provide the government with “another Pearl Harbor” in order to create a “surveillance state.” In the end we find out that six kitty companies run everything.

I know, right?

I was in disbelief when I first saw it. The intelligent humor of Trevor Moore, one of the front men of Whitest Kids, shines throughout this essential video.

On hating sports

During every major sporting event there’s a contingent of people who go out of their way to mention that they don’t care about sports. Like they’re too cool for it. I find a decent amount of common ground with trendy people (hipsters, if you like), but many have this attitude about sports.

This video is a viciously ironic attack on this line of thinking. More than anything, it’s hilarious. Every way that people mock sports is used in a ridiculous way that shows just how stupid and snobbish it is. Some highlights:

I stopped keeping up with current events when I got into high school, I just outgrew it.
I just never got into laughing.
My dad forced reading down my throat so I’ve always pretty much hated it.
Yeah, I’m from Detroit and everyone is crazy about cars. But I can’t stand them.
You still like movies? Even after what Roman Polanski did?

And my favorite: I’d probably get into sex if people stopped making such a big deal about it. Pure gold. I’m definitely going to pull this out every Super Bowl for all my friends who brag about not caring about it.

Erik Ritland is a writer and musician from St. Paul, Minnesota. His blog and podcast Rambling On features commentary on music, sports, culture, and more. He was also Lead Staff Writer for Minnesota culture blog Curious North. Support Erik's music via his Patreon account, reach him via email, or find him on Facebook and Twitter.

The Weekday Ramble is a daily dose of sports, music, culture, and more from Rambling On founder Erik Ritland. For more information check us out on Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, or at our website.


Wednesday June 10, 2015
For #FunFacts today we cover the history of the word soccer, explore information about Chattanooga’s most famous export, and learn that America didn’t gain its independence from France.

Snoozer
The word “soccer” is an abbreviation of “association,” first becoming “assoc” (short for Football Association) and then “socca,” “socker,” and eventually “soccer.”

So, in other words, the story about how soccer got its name is as boring as the sport itself.

Empress of the blues
Chattanooga, Tennessee’s Bessie Smith was one of the first blues singers. Her career took off in the 1920s and lasted, with some ebbs and flows, until her death in a car crash in 1937. At the height of her popularity she was the highest paid black entertainer in America, bringing in as much as $2,000 a week. Last month a movie about her life starring Queen Latifah was released to positive reviews.

Oh dear
In a recent study American teenagers were asked what country we gained our independence from. 15% answered France, another 5% Canada.

Be afraid, folks. Be very afraid.

Sources
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/04/sports-facts-unknown_n_4704083.html
http://nooga.com/161052/10-facts-about-bessie-smith-and-chattanooga/
http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=92955

Erik Ritland is a writer and musician from St. Paul, Minnesota. His blog and podcast Rambling On features commentary on music, sports, culture, and more. He was also Lead Staff Writer for Minnesota culture blog Curious North. Support Erik's music via his Patreon account, reach him via email, or find him on Facebook and Twitter.

The Weekday Ramble is a daily dose of sports, music, culture, and more from Rambling On founder Erik Ritland. For more information check us out on Twitter, Facebook, or at our website.


Monday June 8, 2015
Starting out the week with four more humorous, negative movie reviews from legendary critic Roger Ebert. Heavily indebted to an article by the lovely Stacy Conradt.

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (zero stars) 
[The title character] makes a living prostituting himself. How much he charges I'm not sure, but the price is worth it if it keeps him off the streets and out of another movie. 'Deuce Bigalow' is aggressively bad, as if it wants to cause suffering to the audience. The best thing about it is that it runs for only 75 minutes.... Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.

You know your movie is bad when Ebert pulls out the “I’m a Pulitzer Prize winner” card. “Aggressively bad, as if it wants to cause suffering to the audience” – ouch. Harsh, but accurate.

Spice World (half star)
Spice World is obviously intended as a ripoff of 'A Hard Day's Night' which gave The Beatles to the movies...the huge difference, of course, is that the Beatles were talented--while, let's face it, the Spice Girls could be duplicated by any five women under the age of 30 standing in line at Dunkin' Donuts.

Ebert is wrong here: depending on the location, any five women under the age of 30 standing in line at Dunkin’ Donuts would probably do better than the Spice Girls. I’m guessing that the half star is for Meatloaf’s memorable cameo.

Charlie’s Angels (half star)
Charlie’s Angels is like the trailer for a video game movie, lacking only the video game, and the movie.

The half star for this one is probably for the Cameron Diaz underwear scene. Or was that in the Charlie's Angels 2? I haven’t seen either so I’m not much of an authority on this franchise.

Tommy Boy (one star)
No one is funny in Tommy Boy. There are no memorable lines. None of the characters is interesting, except for the enigmatic figure played by Rob Lowe, who seems to have wandered over from ‘Hamlet.’ Judging by the evidence on the screen, the movie got a green light before a usable screenplay had been prepared, with everybody reassuring themselves that since they were such funny people, inspiration would overcome them.

Okay, so Ebert swung and missed on this one. Everyone is funny in Tommy Boy, there are a ton of memorable lines, and the characters may not be interesting but they’re very funny. To Ebert's credit gave it a single star, the highest rating he gave any of the movies I’ve highlighted over the last two blogs.

Erik Ritland is a writer and musician from St. Paul, Minnesota. His blog and podcast Rambling On features commentary on music, sports, culture, and more. He was also Lead Staff Writer for Minnesota culture blog Curious North.

The Weekday Ramble is a daily dose of sports, music, culture, and more from Rambling On founder Erik Ritland. For more information check us out on Twitter, Facebook, or at our website.


Friday June 5, 2015
Four of Roger Ebert’s funniest negative movie reviews, annotated.

A legend in our time
Roger Ebert is the king of movie criticism. A pioneer in his field, he was clever, creative, and always came off as a regular person. He established his legend both as a writer for the Chicago Sun-Times and on TV shows like Siskel and Ebert (boy does that take me back) and Ebert and Roeper.

An underrated aspect of his work is his humor. Whether coming up with the perfect one-liner in a column or arguing hilariously with his television co-host, Ebert’s quick wit was often on display.

Below are four of his funniest negative reviews. I owe a heavy debt to an article by Stacy Conradt that inspired this piece.

The Brown Bunny (zero stars)
I had a colonoscopy once, and they let me watch it on TV. It was more entertaining than The Brown Bunny.

Perhaps funnier than the review is how Ebert responded to an insult from the director when he found out about the review. As Conradt notes, “When the movie’s director responded by mocking Ebert’s weight, Ebert said, “It is true that I am fat, but one day I will be thin, and he will still be the director of The Brown Bunny." Game, set, match.

Freddy Got Fingered (zero stars)
This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.

Ouch. This bit of wit is probably my favorite Ebert line. I believe him, too.

Clifford (half star)
It’s not bad in any usual way. It’s bad in a new way all its own. There is something extraterrestrial about it, as if it’s based on the sense of humor of an alien race with a completely different relationship to the physical universe. The movie is so odd, it’s most worth seeing just because we’ll never see anything like it again. I hope.

Honestly, this review kinda makes me want to see it. Its humor is metaphysically bad? What other movie carries that boast? Something that has “a completely different relationship to the physical universe” sounds pretty good to me. Regardless of how bad I’m sure it is.

Mad Dog Time (zero stars)
Mad Dog Time is the first movie I have seen that does not improve on the sight of a blank screen viewed for the same length of time. Oh, I've seen bad movies before. But they usually made me care about how bad they were. Watching 'Mad Dog Time' is like waiting for the bus in a city where you're not sure they have a bus line.... 'Mad Dog Time' should be cut into free ukulele picks for the poor.

And you thought that an insult couldn’t get any more wicked than the barrel bit. Worse than staring at a blank screen? Free ukulele picks for the poor? Who thinks of analogies like that? Only the greatest movie critic of our time.

Check out Part II for Ebert’s hilarious thoughts on Spice World, Tommy Boy, and others.

Erik Ritland is a writer and musician from St. Paul, Minnesota. His blog and podcast Rambling On features commentary on music, sports, culture, and more. He was also Lead Staff Writer for Minnesota culture blog Curious North.

The Weekday Ramble is a daily dose of sports, music, culture, and more from Rambling On founder Erik Ritland. For more information check us out on Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, or at our website.


Thursday May 28, 2015
Our second installment of #FunFacts covers the B.S. Patriots, the most hated rock band ever, and a cool fat president’s connection with baseball.

Anatomy of a name
Before they joined the NFL the New England Patriots were called the Boston Patriots (prior professional football teams from that city included the Bulldogs, Braves, Redskins, and Yanks). In 1971 they moved to Foxborough and decided to change their name accordingly. They wanted to be called the Bay State Patriots but the NFL immediately saw that as a PR disaster. Though would consider the BS Patriots a fitting moniker.

Haters gonna hate
Nickelback is the most hated rock band in history. While stuff like that is usually subjective, I’d like to see somebody successfully argue against that. I’m not a huge fan of piling on when people hate stuff though. Sure, their lyrics are lowest common denominator and sometimes laughably bad, but their music rocks pretty hard. Fun fact: Chad Kroeger, their lead singer, has expressed a love for Abba. I can always get behind some love for Abba, another band that’s universally hated.

Howard Taft, Minnesota, and baseball
There are lots of cool things about Howard Taft, America’s fattest president. He was the last president to have facial hair (come on Obama, bring it back!), he inspired a ridiculous possum-themed teddy bear rip-off called Billy Possums, and he got stuck in a gosh darn bathtub.

One of his coolest achievements has a Minnesota connection. He was the first president to throw out the first pitch at a baseball game, hurling to legend Walter Johnson of the Washington Senators in 1910. Fifty years later, of course, the Senators became the Minnesota Twins.

Sources
http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2105807_2105808_2105822,00.html
http://www.aceshowbiz.com/news/view/00014704.html#ixzz3DQK7VuiZ
http://mentalfloss.com/article/58914/15-wonderful-william-howard-taft-facts

Erik Ritland is a writer and musician from St. Paul, Minnesota. His blog and podcast Rambling On features commentary on music, sports, culture, and more. He was also Lead Staff Writer for Minnesota culture blog Curious North. Support Erik's music via his Patreon account, reach him via email, or find him on Facebook and Twitter.

The Weekday Ramble is a daily dose of sports, music, culture, and more from Rambling On founder Erik Ritland. For more information check us out on Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, or at our website.


Tuesday May 26, 2015
To celebrate my 100th Weekday Ramble I’m spending a few blogs highlighting 100 facts about me. Fact #1 should have been how humble I am, right? Check out #1-25, #26-50, and #51-75.

Topics for this last installment include my biggest addiction, taste in women, biggest rap influences, earliest songs, biggest intellectual influence, biggest songwriting influence, favorite Atari game, and a lot more.

76.   I’ll always have a soft spot for the Digital Underground and House of Pain, two rap bands that first got me into the genre. They’re mostly known for “The Humpty Dance” and “Jump Around” respectively. The thick funk beats and sense of humor of the Underground is just cool. Everlast and the House of Pain were often funny, regardless of whether they were trying to be.

77.   If I could be a part of anything in history it would be Bob Dylan and the Band’s Basement Tapes. I could have been, like, a recording engineer or something. Or the guy who ran to the liquor store to buy Richard Manuel’s bottles of Grand Marnier.

78.   Dub step is a bad direction for music to be going in. If abrasive electronic music is the wave of the future, count me out.

79.   I like Beatles for Sale. It’s the most underrated Beatles album. "I Don't Want to Spoil the Party"? "I'm a Loser"? "No Reply"? "Baby's in Black"? "What You're Doing"? Not to mention hot shit versions of Carl Perkins "Honey Don't" and "Everybody's Trying to Be My Baby." Sure, it isn't Rubber Soul, but few things are.

80.   Jobs I possibly had in a past life: ditch digger and lamplighter.

81.   I don’t watch a lot of TV. Other than wrestling and Adventure Time of course. Other shows I’ve liked: the first few seasons of the Simpsons, Seinfeld, Arrested Development, the first few seasons of The Office. That’s about it…

82.   I like Led Zeppelin but I’ve never had a huge Zeppelin phase. I love how dirty and blues-y they are, and that they grew as they went along, there just isn't a lot of subtle stuff there to keep my attention.

83.   I recorded a lot of terrible songs on a cassette four track in high school. One was a protest song called “Society’s Song.” All I’ll say about it is that it was incredibly condescending and pretentious. Really bad keyboard drums on that one, too. I also had a 7 minute song called “Giving In” that was about as un-commercial as anything I’d ever written but I was completely convinced that it would have been a hit if people only heard it. I'm glad they didn't.

84.   The first song I ever wrote was called “The Real Good News.” I think. It’s a simple thing with nondescript wordplay. Not as terrible as a lot of stuff I’d write after it but not much to brag about. The chorus: “and the real good news is no news at all/I hope it doesn’t disappoint you/and when the answers finally found/it won’t take long to lose.” Chipper as always.

85.   I’m sad that the type of music I like, write, and play is dying. Rock and folk music don’t have a huge following. Even Beatle-y rock music isn’t much there. It makes me sad because music is the one thing I think I can do well. If there was an audience for it I could maybe do what I feel like I was born to do. Not that I’ve actually tried hard enough to find out if there actually is an audience for me. Gah. This goes back to #54 on this list

86.   Sure, I drink, smoke sometimes, and have done drugs, but my biggest struggle addiction-wise is with food. I’m a fat kid at heart.

87.   My philosophy about life being better if you enjoy a variety of things is also the foundation of my taste in women. Beautiful women come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, colors, body types, and the like. It’s a myth that men want all women to look a certain way. There are a lot of different ways for women to be beautiful.

88.   If I could get rid of any movie it would be Despicable Me so I wouldn’t have to deal with all those obnoxious minion memes. If I could get rid of one band it’d be the Black Eyed Peas. Or maybe whatever band paved the way for the rise of dub step.

89.   My biggest intellectual influence is English author/poet/Christian apologist/political thinker G.K. Chesterton. He wrote about everything and was almost always right. His visions of what culture would become are vivid and prophetic. He predicted our current perils over 100 years ago.

90.   Argentinian poet laureate Jorge Louis Borges and contemporary fiction writer Jonathan Lethem are the only two post-Chesterton authors that do much for me. Check out Borges' Ficciones and Lethem’s Fortress of Solitude for some of the best fiction writing of our time. The late ‘70s New York that Lethem creates is vivid and startling.

91.   Bob Dylan is by far my biggest songwriting influence. He knows that what he creates goes beyond himself. Steeped in the folk tradition, he isn’t afraid to emulate his influences and subsequently surpass them. His music is part of something bigger than himself. He gets it.

92.   I wish I could have hung out with Muddy Waters and Holwin’ Wolf in the ‘50s. Two of the coolest cats of all time.

93.   I’m unhappy that music from before the rock n’ roll era is so neglected. Especially folk, country, and blues of the ‘20s, ‘30s, and ‘40s. There’s lots of life there. Jimmie Rodgers, the Carter Family, Blind Lemon Jefferson, Son House, Mississippi John Hurt, the Weavers, Woody Guthrie, Charley Patton. Reality.

94.   My favorite Atari game is Frostbite. I don’t blame you if you’ve never heard of it. I only played it when I had a mod-ed Xbox for a short time. All you do is cross a river on pieces of ice. It’s like a slightly more involved Frogger.

95.   Pitchers are my favorite position in baseball. There’s a lot involved psychologically with pitching. You have to know the strengths and weaknesses of each batter and how to adapt quickly to different situations.

96.   “96 Quite Bitter Beings” by Camp Kill Yourself was one of my favorite songs when it came out. I still love that riff.

97.   My favorite game as a kid was Oregon Trail. They just don’t make them like that anymore. Nice, simple, and filled with character. Video games have gotten too involved for my tastes.

98.   My favorite Pink Floyd album is The Final Cut. It’s often seen as their worst album because it was mostly a solo Roger Waters thing (and contained mostly songs left off The Wall). It has a dark, emotional edge that the overly dramatic Wall sometimes lacked. It was somehow more emotional but less dramatic. Though people say it’s like Waters first solo album the drumming of Nick Mason and explosive guitar work of David Gilmour are an indispensable part of what makes it work so well.

99.   I feel like youth is overrated. Age has nothing to do with worth.

100.           I like basketball better than hockey. Though I may just be saying that because I’m surrounded by hockey rubes in Minnesota.

Erik Ritland is a writer and musician from St. Paul, Minnesota. His blog and podcast Rambling On features commentary on music, sports, culture, and more. He was also Lead Staff Writer for Minnesota culture blog Curious North. Support Erik's music via his Patreon account, reach him via email, or find him on Facebook and Twitter.

The Weekday Ramble is a daily dose of sports, music, culture, and more from Rambling On founder Erik Ritland. For more information check us out on Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, or at our website.


Monday May 25, 2015
100 facts about me to celebrate 100 daily blogs continues with #51-75. Check out #1-25 and #26-50 if you like.

Topics today include what I’d like to change about myself, my first shows, why my neighbor lady hates me, traits I like in people, why I’m afraid of getting an office job, why I’m a Packer fan, the Midwest vs. the east and west coasts, defending pro wrestling, and my favorite season, authors, books, fast food restaurant, beer, and hard liquor. Whew.

51.   My dream car is an old orange ‘60s microbus. I’d live out of that darn thing.

52.   I believe that swearing can be useful but that it’s totally overdone. Especially in movies and on adult television shows.

53.   Some cassettes that shaped my pre-Jr. high existence: Green Day Dookie, Offspring Smash, Soul Asylum Grave Dancers Union, Nirvana Nevermind and Unplugged.

54.   If I could change anything about myself it’d be my lack of ambition.

55.   I love that there are so many great record stores in the Twin Cities (and there always have been). Cheapo in St. Paul is still my favorite. I can also get behind Eclipse, Treehouse, and Electric Fetus.

56.   I played my first show at a now-defunct coffee shop on Snelling Avenue called Cosmic’s. I played my second show a few weeks later at White Rock coffeehouse in Highland Park (also closed). I really miss the White Rock. It was home-y: well lit, comfortable couches, good music, friendly staff. Now it’s a place called Quixotic that’s nice but just a bit cold and sterile. But I suppose that’s in now. Can you at least turn up the damn lights a bit?

57.   Baseball is, always has been, and always will be my favorite sport. I love that it moves fast enough to keep me interested without any cheap thrills (smashing and such). Its subtleties and strategies that are easy enough for any schlub to pick up on (unlike soccer).

58.   I own a house that needs a lot of work. My neighbor lady hates me because I cut my grass so rarely.

59.   Traits I like in people: reasonableness, intelligence, intuition, calmness, being okay with silence, silliness, lack of pretension.

60.   God help me if I ever got an office job. My weight would most likely double in the first year.

61.   I love Cold Stone Creamery but I haven’t been there in forever. I always got birthday cake ice cream with angel food cake, peanut butter, and marshmallow. Damn. I might have to head out there.

62.   Chipotle is by far my favorite fast food restaurant. The food there actually tastes fresh and good, the prices are reasonable, and it fills me up for pretty much the entire day.

63.   I grew up a Vikings fan but became a Packer fan once they let go of Randy Moss the second time under Brad Childress. It sort of started out as a bit but it grew quickly into faux-legitimacy.

64.   I loved sports when I was a kid but lost interest when I discovered music and MLB went on strike. Due to my dad’s influence I began to think that all sports players were, in his words, “high paid prima donnas.” I couldn’t get myself to enjoy something done by people I didn’t respect. I still watched every Vikings game, though. Football is easy to enjoy because it’s so lowest common denominator.

65.   The more variety of stuff I like the happier I am. When I was younger I was really snobbish about music. Once I began liking hip hop, classical, jazz, ‘80s pop, and metal my life opened up. I also like olives and onions. Live a little, man.

66.   I like professional wrestling because it completely lacks pretension. If you’re an idiot that thinks it’s stupid because it’s fake, I suggest you stop watching movies and television then you hypocrite. Because that's all fake too. Dummy.

67.   The first place I ever traveled to was Milwaukee to see my oldest brother Mike graduate college. I barely remember that.

68.   The first trip I remember taking was to St. Louis my freshman year in high school. The adventure of getting there, and being somewhere I wasn’t used to, made a huge impression on me. I still enjoy the understated coolness of St. Louis.

69.   I used to be really pro-Midwest and anti-East and West Coasts. I understand now that there’s a mixture of genuine and pretentious people everywhere. There are more frauds in New York and California from what I’ve heard, but that makes sense if only because a lot of people go out there to try and make it because they think they’re great. That’s not the fault of their geographic location. Also, it's not like there aren't a lot of self-involved Midwesterners who think they're better than everyone. The best song on this subject is Local H's “California Songs.”

70.   My favorite season is autumn. Sunsets and trees are their most gorgeous and temperatures are cooler but comfortable. October is by far my favorite month. You can feel the spirit world invading the physical so intimately that it's almost uncomfortable. But it’s always cool. Like Halloween.

71.   Faulkner is my favorite American author. Books are best when the author creates an engaging universe that you feel like you’re a part of. I become a part of the worlds that Faulkner creates. The Sound and the Fury is one of the best mind fucks of all time.

72.   “Staring at the Sun” by TV on the Radio scares me. In a good way.

73.   Salinger's Catcher in the Rye is the first book that made an impression on me. Reading it changed my entire perspective on life. It helped me begin to understand how the con(temporary) world works.

74.   I like beer. A lot. Mostly anything is fine by me, too. Hamms and Grain Belt are my go-to local Minnesota beers (okay, so Hamms is now out of Milwaukee, but it used to be brewed on my east side of St. Paul so its spirit will always be here). I can do light beers, dark beers, hoppy beers, stouts, IPAs, EPAs, whatever. Budweiser, High Life, MGD, Summit, Deschutes, New Belgium, Sierra Nevada, Bells, Lagunitas, Paulaner, Modelo. Once again, the more you allow yourself to enjoy in life the more you’ll get out of it.

75.   I also like hard liquor. Jack Daniels is my go-to but I like most whiskeys. Vodka is good with tonic or Red Bull. I can do rum and Coke. Fireball sucks.

Check out part IV here.

Erik Ritland is a writer and musician from St. Paul, Minnesota. His blog and podcast Rambling On features commentary on music, sports, culture, and more. He is also a contributor for Minnesota culture blog Curious North. Support Erik's music via his Patreon account, reach him via email, or find him on Facebook and Twitter.

The Weekday Ramble is a daily dose of sports, music, culture, and more from Rambling On founder Erik Ritland. For more information check us out on Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, or at our website.


Friday May 22, 2015 
To celebrate writing 100 daily blogs I’m in the middle of posting 100 facts about me. Topics in part two, posted below, include why MySpace is better than Facebook, elephants vs. rodents, eating snakes, polka music, conspiracy theorists, Minnesota talk radio, my biggest music influences, my ethnicity, my political affiliation, and more.

Read part one here.

26.   When Facebook started I thought it was for narcissists. I still think that.

27.   MySpace was way cooler than Facebook. You could mod your page to make it your own. Facebook is like a suburban neighborhood where rows and rows of houses all look the same.

28.   I had major turning points in my musical taste (and life) when I discovered each of the following musicians/bands: The Beatles, David Bowie, Pink Floyd, Wilco, Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, the Band.

29.   When I discovered that country music is cool my whole life and musical perspective changed. You could say that country music got a hold on me.

30.   My patron Saint is Saint Jude, patron of desperate cases and lost causes. I felt like that fit me pretty well. And no, I didn’t pick Jude because of “Hey Jude." I don’t even like that song very much.

31.   I’m sort of a fraud.

32.   I’m pretty genuine when I want to be.

33.   I’m a liar but at least I’m honest about it.

34.   My listening habits changed a lot when I discovered talk radio in the Twin Cities. If there were a hundred hours in a day I’d listen to practically every show that’s on KFAN and AM 1500 ESPN. We better appreciate our legends (Dan Barreiro, Patrick Ruesse, Dan Cole, Joe Soucheray) while they’re still on the mic.

35.   I’d rather be a tiny elephant than a giant rodent. Doesn’t a giant rodent sound disgusting?

36.   I discovered the blues in my early teens. My first blues cassette was Sleepy John Estes, I Ain’t Gonna Be Worried No More. I was amazed that there was music still around from the 1930s.

37.   One time when I was in Texas I ate snake at some restaurant. It didn’t taste that exotic. I’d eat it again.

38.   When I was a small boy I wanted to be a baseball player. Once I discovered the Beatles when I was, like, 10, I wanted to be a musician. I still do, though I feel like being a writer is a bit more realistic.

39.   East End 106 was the name of the radio station I pretended I had growing up. It began with like five cassettes that I’d play a few songs from, one after the other, on a boom box with a double tape deck. It grew into a pretty impressive classic rock station. I’d play a song from an LP, jump to my CD player, back to my tape player, and also talk about each song I was playing. It was great fun. Maybe I should be a DJ. If only they actually did anything anymore I'd consider it.

40.   I honestly didn’t think it’d be this hard to think of 100 facts about me. But man it's exhausting.

41.   My favorite book of the bible is the Gospel of John. John's Jesus is contemplative, brilliantly spiritual, and always in control.

42.   The best piece of advice I’ve ever received was from my dad who said that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

43.   I think Grammar Nazis are pretentious hacks. Grammar rules are made up and subjective. They serve a purpose but as long as you can understand what somebody’s saying it doesn’t matter if they say it exactly correctly. And I’m allowed to say this. I have a degree in words.

44.   If I could be an Olympian I’d be a bobsled guy. Bobsled guys are tight.

45.   I’m half Norwegian, quarter German, and quarter English/other stuff maybe or something. I feel mostly Norwegian. Probably because I am.

46.   I genuinely enjoy polka music. Happy music for happy people.

47.   I have two cats even though I am allergic to them. One just walked into my door, the other was left by an ex-girlfriend. I never thought I’d dig cats as much as I do. I dislike pretension in people but pretension in cats is endearing.

48.   I’m not sure if Oswald killed Kennedy, the moon landing ever happened, or if the government knew about 9/11 before it happened. However anybody who just trusts what they’re told blindly is as ignorant as any person who is unjustly belittled as a “conspiracy theorist.”

49.   I’ve been a liberal, a conservative, and a libertarian at various points in my life. The party line doesn’t do much for me anymore. If I’m going to submit it’s going to be to the divine.

50.   All my grandparents are dead.

Continue to #51-75

Erik Ritland is a writer and musician from St. Paul, Minnesota. His blog and podcast Rambling On features commentary on music, sports, culture, and more. He was also Lead Staff Writer for Minnesota culture blog Curious North. Support Erik's music via his Patreon account, reach him via email, or find him on Facebook and Twitter.

The Weekday Ramble is a daily dose of sports, music, culture, and more from Rambling On founder Erik Ritland. For more information check us out on Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, or at our website.


Thursday May 21, 2015 
I can’t believe I made it, folks! When I set out to do a blog every weekday back in January I didn’t think I’d last more than a week or two. Here I am, though, several months later and still tearin’ it up. I’m doing something at least.

To celebrate here are 100 facts about me. By popular demand. I’ll do 25 per post so it’s easier to digest.

Topics in the first part include my first cassette tapes and CDs, peeing next to a celebrity, the saintly and profane, my first band, the first songs I ever wrote, the wind, ice cream, pickiness, my favorite movie, my favorite TV show, and the metal video I watched over and over again in kindergarten.

1.       My first cassette tape was Ace of Base, The Sign. Their weird synth-y stuff is still sort of unique. Back in the day the only person who could top them was Mariah Carey, whose “Hero” kept “The Sign” out of #1 on the charts and I’ll never forgive her for it.

2.       My first CDs were the Beatles Free as a Bird and Real Love EPs. I already had all their music on either cassette or LP so they were the obvious choice.

3.       Please Please Me was the first Beatles tape I ever bought. I remember going to my local Best Buy to pick it up. It was almost closing. I picked it over the rest of the Beatles tapes because it had 14 songs (the American versions of their stuff with only 12 songs were still being printed) and “Twist and Shout” was on it. I remember my parents playing it in the car and sensing that it was taking them back somewhere special. They probably hadn’t heard a lot of those songs for 30 years.

4.       My home church growing up was Lutheran Church of Peace in Maplewood, Minnesota. It was a nice community that treated me very well and taught me about what being a Christian means. Mark Becker, their pastor when I was a member, is still one of my biggest Christian influences. He’s a tenderly intelligent man.

5.       When I played baseball early in elementary school my number was 14 because Kent Hrbek was my favorite Twin. I’ve always loved fat first basemen: Hrbek, Cecil Fielder, Prince Fielder, John Kruk.

6.       Nolan Ryan was my favorite baseball player growing up. Not a bad choice, eh? He’s probably still my second favorite baseball player of all time behind Babe Ruth. Lots of raw skill with those two. The romance of Ruth matters to me almost as much as his ability (as a pitcher and a hitter).

7.       I once peed in a urinal next to Kent Hrbek at the Starkey Awards Gala at the RiverCentre in St. Paul. I told him that I was disappointed that there aren’t as many home run hitters on the Twins now as there were when he was playing for them. He said “Yep, those were good times” and walked away. I don’t think he listened to what I said.

8.       I have two brothers and a sister. We’ve always had a close connection even when we haven’t been close.

9.       At one point in my life I was working at the Cathedral of Saint Paul and the Xcel Energy Center, the two main religious and secular buildings in my dear St. Paul. It was pretty cool to be a part of so many weirdly varied events: confirmations, hockey games, rock concerts, choir concerts, ordinations, food shows, festivals and celebrations of various kinds. I’ve never felt more like I was a part of the pulse of the city.

10.   My first band was called Faded Suede. The only other permanent member was my old friend Drew Pederson (who thought of the name so you can stop judging me). We were really into Wilco, he was really into Ryan Adams, and he believed in my not-very-good folk songs enough to learn guitar parts for them. We didn’t play a whole lot of shows or make a whole lot of recordings. I was just learning how to write songs well at that point.

11.   I wrote over 100 songs my senior year of high school. They were mostly terrible but I still go back to them and make them into better songs.

12.   I’ve written hundreds (hundreds?) of songs. I really like about 20 of them and am satisfied with about 20 more. I hope to release my debut double album, In Toil We Krimber, sometime this year.

13.   I like walking. I’m glad I do because if I didn’t I’d get really fat really fast.

14.   One of the best things that ever happened to me was discovering my parent’s record collection when I was in elementary school. Highlights included John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band, Uriah Heep’s Demons and Wizards, Charlie Daniels’ Nightrider, and the Kinks’ Sleepwalker.

15.   My favorite movie is Walk Hard, the parody of Walk the Line starring John C. Reilly, Jack White, Jack Black, Frankie Muniz, Tim Meadows, and more. I like it because it doesn’t try too hard but is also often clever. It’s a music nerds dream. The running gag about drug use is simply brilliant, as is “Let’s Duet.”

16.   After about six years of contemplating and questioning I became a Catholic on April 19th, 2014. It’s difficult but fulfilling, lovely, and beautiful. It’s the foundation of my life.

17.   The first article I ever published online was called The Five Greatest Guitarists of All Time. My list? Mick Ronson (who played during Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust era), Mick Box of Uriah Heep, Robert Johnson, Jimi Hendrix, and Stevie Ray Vaughan. Mick Box is the funniest choice there.

18.   My favorite television show is Adventure Time. It is the best show on right now. There’s depth, there’s humor, and it doesn’t have to be raunchy or swear a lot to be entertaining. Even as an adult a lot of the stuff on the show goes over my head. I’m glad there are some kids shows that don’t dumb stuff down.

19.   My favorite song in kindergarten was Metallica’s “One.” My brother Chris had a VHS of the spooky video and 5 year old me loved it. Despite the fact that my mother forbid me from watching it.

20.   After years of it making me fat I’ve finally pretty much given up drinking regular pop. There are so many good, off the wall diet choices that there’s no reason to go with the sugary stuff. I wish I could give up pop completely, but one step at a time I suppose.

21.   I like listening to the sound of the wind going through big trees as I fall asleep.

22.   My favorite ice cream growing up was chocolate marshmallow. My grandpa would buy it for me and my siblings by the gallon.

23.   I don’t understand being picky. The pickier you are about everything, from food to music, the less fulfilling your life will be.

24.   I have a bachelor’s degree in English with a philosophy minor from the University of Wisconsin-River Falls. I wish I would have done more activities in college and taken less naps. However I discovered a whole lot of great music during that time, getting heavily into Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, and Wilco.

25.   I like being outside so much that it’s hard for me to be indoors when it’s nice out.

Check out part II here.

Erik Ritland is a writer and musician from St. Paul, Minnesota. His blog and podcast Rambling On features commentary on music, sports, culture, and more. He is also a contributor for Minnesota culture blog Curious North. Support Erik's music via his Patreon account, reach him via email, or find him on Facebook and Twitter.